KPA and Roles Reversed…
That donut was delicious and they got my refresher just right I am definitely feeling reinforced right now.
Ok so back to the story, I now had a safe landing to just do my job and go home…so I thought. All the while helping my best friend build her dream business, while watching my other best friend build her dream business all in the same space, which was the most amazing bonus. It gave me the lady balls to finally put myself through Karen Pryor Academy. I got through the application process and onto my approval interviews and took a chance on myself again. It did not come without immense fear, but it had always been a dream to do that program and saying I spent that time saying I would do it someday, after 10 years of attending the Clicker Expo conference. I figured if I could almost run a half marathon than maybe I could actually do this, no I had to do this…no excuses, no exceptions this time. Weird determination feeling unlocked…
Ten years I spent listening to some of the serious GOATS of the Clicker world. The people that accomplish great and amazing things using these incredible observation, timing, and problem solving skills all with a clicker and reinforcement, that’s what has always amazed me about this method. Nothing is impossible, Karen Pryor and so many other positive trainers prove that time and time again. The evidence is there when you weed through the bullshit coming from unreliable sources.
I told myself if Karen could take bare bone theories and turn them into so many processes and protocols used in training everywhere on a variety of species, and Ken Ramirez can figure out how to change migratory patterns of elephants to avoid passing through dangerous poaching areas, then there is no reason I cannot make it through this fucking course. I could not possibly be that dumb or incapable…so I invested the most money I had into myself, at one time and with intention, and paid my tuition. Then I got ready to give it my all, with the help of Rowan my KPA Partner.
I was not that successful throughout regular school and didn’t cut it in college, I did not know how to actually learn, study or retain information like a “normal” person. I didn’t know how to recall information once I acquired it. I felt like I could not process what I was trying to absorb. I was so anxious to enter into this program, having spent so much money, and with no history of success lately to grasp onto. What if I can’t retain this either? What if I give up part way through? What if I fall behind and get overwhelmed and give up? I had to focus hard on telling myself I love learning at Expo and I do remember it, and I love learning like that, and I love learning about dogs. I kept this reminder close and on repeat.
I got started as soon as the portal was open, I took notes on EVERYTHING and saved every single pdf. I worked on it consistently, making sure not to fall behind. I made it through the training sessions with Rowan and even Noah. I kept up with it and was on top of everything. Wild.
But then again it had just started…only a couple months in…
Two weeks before I was set to go to my first in person workshop, shit hit the fan between my best friend and the property owner. This story is not mine to share so details will be withheld but this was my friends Pheonix Moment. Her old life had to crumble for her new life to rebuild from the ashes. I am happy to write she has absolutely risen from the ashes and is thriving. Unfortunately her rock bottom got messy while we worked at that property and her and the property owner had a falling out. I was pushed into a role I did not want with responsibilities I didn’t ask for. My personal phone number had now been given to EVERY SINGLE CLIENT because things got messy and neither of them trusted each other anymore. Now, my friend left me, to finish what she started to create at dog nirvana, and I also had to not fail at KPA…
I broke again. I did not want the responsibility, and for no extra pay mind you, all while trying to give KPA my best, maintain a relationship, home, and other animals of my own to support. Being the people pleaser that I was, I could not let anyone down, I threw myself into my new role and juggled everything else like the absolute beast that I am, as best I could.
Due to a bullshit document I was forced to sign in order to receive a final paycheck after giving my notice 3 years after taking that role I cannot talk about what went down there. So this part of my story will need to lie dormant…
What I can say is I am incredibly proud of many of the things my team and I accomplished there during my time. We became experts at pairing playgroups to avoid conflict and strife between dogs having a nearly perfect safety record, we successfully managed behaviorally challenged dogs without any serious incidents in a busy boarding environment, we created solid solutions to manage the stress of dogs in a boarding environment, most importantly though we learned a lot. Then when it was time to go, it was time to go.
I held it down through KPA, I worked on my program without falling behind to a point I could not easily recover. I got through the training pieces with Row and even Noah the cat. I was killing it. Wild.
When I got to the end I needed to perform a 10 part behavior chain, pass an online exam, and a demonstrate a lesson in order to become certified. A week before the final meeting and testing was my families traditional Cape-Cation trip. I was able to bring Rowan and we trained throughout the week to get ready. While there I took my online exam and passed. The count down was on. I was almost there.
We showed up to the final workshop which would be two days, we had the option to do a practice test that counted as the actual test the day before it we wanted, or we would officially test the next day. I tried the test the first day thinking I could get it over with and relieve the tension…we failed miserably. I was so nervous that I rippled those nervous right down to my boy…and he acted as if he had never heard those cues in his life. I fucking panicked. Now feeling way more fucking nervous than before. We continued with the workshop that day and i started to calm back down, deciding to put the worries aside until tomorrow. As we worked I realized Rowan was again responding to our cues. It relieved some tension reminding me that he does in fact know what he’s doing, but I will need to keep my shit together if he’s going to do this.
I came back the next day with a determination to have nerves of steel. When you test it is recorded to later be reviewed for technique and skill and accuracy before finding out where you passed both the teaching and behavior chain portion. The wait is grueling….But then they came. I received the email in the middle of hole 16 of a disc golf course, I started crying before I even opened it. My husband at the time came rushing over concerned something terrible had happened. I finally got my shit together and opened the email. I passed. Holy fucking shit I passed. Fucking Wild.
A HUGE Shout out really needs to go to Rowan for getting us through this…seriously the dog deserves a medal and maybe a weight belt for carrying us through the training portion. I dedicated so much time getting through the schooling that I did not save as much time for the training exercises. I swear this dog understood this and said “It’s ok Mom, I have us.” He totally did too. He worked beautifully through the exercises making it easy for us to have success.
I am forever grateful for my KPA Instructor, Emma Parsons. She was the perfect instructor for me to get through this course, she held me to a high standard while never treating me like I was stupid or less than when we didn’t have it quite right. She celebrated us, she supported us and it gave me the courage to keep trying to get it right. It made learning feel successful and rewarding.
Well Soldier, do you have another page in ya? Have I lost you yet or driven you mad with anticipation to the point yet to be made? If you have made it this far and don’t have another one in you, its ok. Sometimes making it part of the way is part of the journey. If I have peaked your curiousity enough to keep reading then by all means, meet me at the next page.
