The Almost Half Marathon.
Written By Shelby Coolidge
You came back for the badass dogs didn’t you? I don’t blame you…not sure if you are brave, bored or nosy either way I’m here for it and Thank you.
Imagine sitting in a chair, surrounded by family, celebrating this great achievement, and you find out you are .24 miles away from ACTUALLY running a half marathon. Inside, I was devastated on the outside I smiled and pretended to bask in the glory of my almost win. When the celebration ended I went to my couch to ice my legs and I felt both defeat and pride, devastation and achievement. I felt conflicted. Then amazing happened. This teeny tiny voice in my head said, “that’s still further than you have ever run before…” I broke again after that, a glimpse of the mindset shift I had made simply by trying. I ran a couple times after that, and I celebrated myself for running 5 miles all sub 11 mins. I averaged a 12.5-13min mile normally. Not long and not many times before hanging up my running shoes again. Another good habit gone.
Then our furlough ended and I was to return to work. At this time I was a Salon Manager for a chain and groomed dogs. Our return was a disaster, not only because we were dealing with very concerned pet parents who now had matted and stressed out dogs, but we were ostracized for being the only department in the chain to be furloughed, and corporate being corporate saw the dollars missed during our closure and were determined to fill that deficit. There felt like resentment from the ones who were forced to work through the shut down, not in obvious ways or by everyone, but as someone who obsessively reads the room, I could feel the tension running over my skin, every day. And the pressure to perform and the fight against my instincts toward safety of others mounted.
We groomers had strict covid guidelines to follow. We had horribly matted dogs, who were so stressed after being home and loved on by their family, then shoved in a car and brought to a noisy, scary grooming salon. We were no longer allowed to help each other due to 6 foot rules, so dogs that required help or support to make their experience safer for both groomer and dog were not able to be accepted or the groomer had to do it without help. Corporate pushed for no time blocking for dogs that required additional time to complete and a six dog per day expectation was mandatory, for every groomer including myself as manager, despite what any groomer felt capable of doing. This meant everyone was stressed, overworked, under appreciated and rushing. Rushing risks safety for both dog and groomer. I was so grateful to have a team as passionate about the safety of the dogs above all else and under my management we made it more than a year without any safety incidents.
With the weight of all that pressure forget good habits I was back into survival mode. My mental health tanked to the point I was crying at work…more often that I could handle and because no one was listening to my genuine and valid concerns regarding the work conditions and safety I was hitting my limit. I knew it was a matter of time before safety would decline due to corporates pushing. I finally broke again. When I found out my life raft employee and best friend was not returning, I could no longer handle the stress and risk to safety that was happening my anxiety San stress was through the roof. I hated leaving my amazing team behind but I had to go, I had to get out of there. So, I begged my friend to hire me…I offered to take a pay cut if it meant I could give my time, energy and effort to someone who would appreciate what I brought to the table.
We had been talking about me coming to work for her since she signed a lease to run her business out of a previously closed boarding facility. She sent me pictures and the property was to die for. I knew I had to make it to this oasis for dogs, a place with endless potential and a business owner who had incredible drive for growth. When I reached my limit I called in that favor. Asking for help is not something that I did often and in my history of asking for help it often went unanswered, held over my head, or I was shamed, or guilted or shamed for needing the help. Never was it met with gratitude and excitement. She welcomed me with open arms and suddenly I wasn’t scared about making the leap I was thrilled. I knew I would give her my all for rescuing me from my further self destruction. That moment gave me the courage to make my next big leap of wild faith in myself…
If I haven’t lost you yet I commend you for your dedication. I hope this gives you some sort of thrill to find out more because we aren’t done yet…I’ll be back after a reinforcement break where I get a donut, special drink, and a car ride.
